You know your friend's crazy ex? The one everyone calls psycho? If not, that's because you are the crazy ex. Ok, to be fair, you might still be known as the crazy boyfriend or girlfriend. But one day you will graduate to the crazy ex. Don't be that guy or girl. If you are at all confused or unsure, please read on...
Let's discuss the process of how one is branded crazy. Bear in mind that I am not a psychiatrist and have no authority in the clinical diagnosis of mental health. However, I did take a Psych 101 class in college and I pretend to know what I'm talking about, even when I don't. So, onward. The Scenario: It's guy's night. Your boyfriend is out having a great time with his buddies. You were not invited for obvious reasons. Even though you spent the day with your boyfriend, you're upset because he's not with you. He's out having a grand time while you are sitting at home in your pajamas, listening to Taylor Swift songs. You're pining away without him and starting to resent him. Since you miss him SOOOO much you decide to give him a call. Just to check in. You dial. Ring. Ring...Ring..."Yo, bra it's Skipper..." You hang up before the beep.
Now, you decide he couldn't reach his phone in time, so you call back....and back. Without even realizing it, you're getting insecure about where he is and what he's doing. Instead of thinking logically, paranoia starts to set in. The possibility that he can't hear his phone over the noise, never crosses your mind because you already know he lied and is cheating on you with a 15-year-old stripper named Skittles. Her rainbow tastes better than yours.
You call again and get no answer. OH HELL NAW! *Insert snaps in the shape of the letter Z.* Nobody puts Baby in a corner! Not willing to stand for this blowing-you-off-business, you call his bff's phone. Again, no answer. Typical. Better call back just once and maybe he'll pick up this time. Nope.
So you text your boyfriend accusing him of no longer caring for you. Finally, over at guy's night, he pulls out his phone and looks at the screen. He sees your missed calls, and your text. His buddy nearest to him sees the approximate 87 missed calls, all from you. It's not long before his bff discovers he also has missed calls from you. Congratulations, Psycho Girlfriend. You've just been blacklisted.
You will never date in this town again. All his buddies will be warning their friends not to get involved with you. They will warn those they love about the psycho girl. These potential suitors will breath a sigh of relief and count their blessings, having dodged a bullet. You were looking a bit attractive for a minute, but alas, it must have been a trick of the light. Desperate doesn't look good on anyone.
Ok pause. Fortunately, this is an imaginary scenario (for some). We will now go back and discuss what went wrong?
1. The Scenario version of you doesn't have a life. She is setting herself up for a disappointing night. She isn't out having a good time or at home entertaining herself by making a macaroni necklace. She is sulking and pouting. Scenario you should take this opportunity to do something enjoyable for herself. This will give both of you some space and make the next meeting together that much more enjoyable.
2. Scenario you is pining for him. Literally pining. It says that. This is very bad. It's been hours since you last saw him and you're already pining. A clearheaded individual would realize that they will be perfectly fine being apart for a couple hours. They have a healthy relationship and know that trust is key. If you have to hire a private eye or constantly check up on your significant other, then you shouldn't be dating them. If they wanted that type of relationship, they'd have adopted a family of leeches to raise on their face.
3. Scenario you called him. You shouldn't have don't that. The only reason scenario you called him at all, was just to check up on him. You've interrupted his fun. You are a party pooper without even being there. A party pooper is a terrible thing to be. You could have just sent a simple text along the lines of, "Hey have a good time." That would have been a simple way for him to reply if he had a free moment and wanted to check in with you.
4. Scenario you called back after he didn't answer the first time. Now you're becoming clingy. Cling is so unwanted that some one invented a product to put in your dryer so you don't have to deal with cling from your clothes. Here is the rule of thumb for how often you can call someone that doesn't respond: You can call them once. You may or may not leave a voicemail. After this you can send them one text message. That is IT! No exceptions! You do not try to contact this person again, until they respond to your first attempts! If they haven't replied it's for one of two reasons. 1. They are busy and can't at the moment. 2. They are ignoring you. As Georgia Nicholson would say, "Have some pridenosity." And if a fictional teenager knows it, then you should too. Scenario you's behavior isn't appealing to anyone. Just keep it healthy.
5. As far as everything else the scenario you did, it's irrelevant. You've already passed the point of no return. Once the call list has exceeded the non-psycho quota, you are a lost cause.
So just remember...Don't be that guy or that girl.